A Guide to Cursing God in the Holy Land: "Foreskin’s Lament" by Shalom Auslander




We live in God-haunted times, where a sizable percentage of the world population aspires to have a more personal relationship with their deity.  Shalom Auslander might be the only member of the faithful who makes it a point to regularly tell his creator to go fuck himself.  The author of Foreskin’s Lament may be a heretic, an apostate or simply the Wicked Son. But although he has left the Hasidic community behind, he leaves no doubt that God is still with him, watching him, waiting for that perfect moment to punish him for a multitude of sins.

 In a memoir that manages to be playful, profane and profound, Auslander describes his unhappy childhood as a member of a dysfunctional household in the religious enclave of Monsey, New York. His father is an abusive alcoholic. His mother is a perpetual lady of sorrow, obsessed by death and dying. The older brother is an ineffectual rebel, constantly challenging the father’s limited authority and then feeling the full force of the father’s rage.  The younger sister is always off to the side, lamenting everyone’s bad behavior.

Shalom gets stuck in the middle, at first trying to keep up peace in the family with humorous skits based on SNL characters. But increasingly, it is Shalom who acts out the rebellious impulses that his brother can only verbalize. He begins to lead a secret life of pornographic movies and Big Macs nibbled on the Sabbath. After he is caught shoplifting at a department store, he is sent to a yeshiva in Israel that specializes in returning wayward sons to the faith.  Although he is tempted towards living a more righteous life by a beautiful Orthodox daughter, his main accomplishment in the Holy Land is scoring hashish from Arab drug dealers.

The best parts of the book are in the beginning, when we are thrust into the rigid and frequently absurd world of the upstate Hasidic community. Shalom is all but twisted into knots by the increasingly arcane rules of behavior. As a student, he participates in a weekly Blessing Bee, where he is required to determine the proper blessing for ice cream placed on a sugar cone. The students at the yeshiva are afraid to swear because they are warned that in the afterlife they will be hung by their tongues for all the foul words uttered. Yet there is no explicit prohibition to stop an older boy from holding down the younger ones and grabbing their testicles. Since it is better to have your balls squeezed a bit in this world than to have your tongue ripped out in the next, the children keep quiet and accept their torment.

In these early sections of the book, Auslander writes with the kind of raging humor you might associate with Philip Roth. As the book progresses, though, the reader feels a kind of despair that not even Portnoy had to wrestle with. Much like the bible, Foreskin’s Lament is not a book that promises cheap or easy liberation. Even after marrying a suitable companion and making a final break from the religious community, Auslander cannot get out from under the worldview of his childhood. He still believes in a God formed in his father’s image: a petty tyrant who delights in meting out punishment.

Auslander does not reject the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Instead he rejects the idea that this God is worthy of being dignified through our devotion. Auslander’s one consolation, which he indulges in throughout the book, is to offer his honest response to this awful deity’s demands. When faced with divine retribution for his decision to live on his own terms, Auslander looks from the sky to his keyboard and types his most honest response to the God who has created his world:  fuck you.

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